Ho, Ho, the Mistletoe
by Prisoner Len
Summary: Zack has been assigned the task of throwing the annual Shinra Christmas party. And he may have gotten a little carried away with the mistletoe, which could be why Cloud's hiding in a closet. For ShadesofImagination and underhandlilies. Happy holidays


It was yearly tradition at Shinra Inc. that a name be pulled from a hat, and whatever SOLDIER was picked would host the Christmas party.

Unfortunately—for everyone else—Zack was the lucky winner this year.

Which meant, of course, that he went completely overboard. His tree was so covered in ornaments that it was barely recognizable, and he insisted that hanging giant snowflakes from the ceiling was a must. He had gotten _slightly_ carried away with the mistletoe.

It was everywhere; over the kitchen sink, on the wall behind the couch, in the bedroom—hell, it was over the _toilet_. Cloud didn't know who the fuck would be kissing someone while on the toilet, and he was positive he didn't _want_ to know.

Poor Cloud had spent his entire Saturday cooped up in his best friend's kitchen, baking because Zack didn't even know how to turn on his oven. How the teen had survived on his own thus far was beyond Cloud—though he had a feeling that Angeal may have had something to do with it. Naturally, begging the blonde cadet to bake for him was Zack's way of ensuring Cloud was stuck at the party. With strangers. And way too much mistletoe. If this was Zack's supposedly-subtle way of setting him up, he was afraid to know what a _non_-subtle way would be. As soon as someone stepped through that front door, Cloud had taken off down the hallway, thrown himself into the office, and hid in the closet.

And that was why Cloud Strife was sitting in a dark closet during the biggest party of the year.

It wasn't really that Cloud had a serious issue with Zack attempting to set him up—in fact, it was rather sweet of him. But Zack had invited the entire population of Shinra.

Which meant Reno.

And that SOLDIER that ran his P.E. class—Alexander. He had the tendency to… put his hands on Cloud's shoulders. And touch his hair. And talk to himself.

He was really creepy.

And Cloud did _not_ want to kiss him. Not a chance in hell.

He shifted carefully, attempting to stretch his legs out—and failing because the closet wasn't quite big enough. A shirt sleeve whacked him in the face and he flailed his arms around in a panic. Because it could have been a giant spider for all he knew. He didn't dare turn on the closet light because he was too afraid of something popping out from behind the mess that his best friend had piled behind all of his clothes. He had to admit, the closet hadn't been the best choice. He could have hid under the desk. Or the bed. Or hell, sneaked out when Zack wasn't looking. But he had panicked, and the closet was the best place he could think of while Zack was welcoming his guests.

More than once, he had heard someone enter the office. More than twice, he had heard a body slam into the door and nearly jumped out of his skin. He was pretty sure he had squeaked in a rather feminine fashion when Zack texted him and made Cloud aware of his phone not being on vibrate. And he was _positive_ he'd had a heart attack when he heard Alexander calling him.

All he could think of was that the man would find him, climb into the closet, and fuck his brains out or something.

…Or tell him a lengthy, boring story about goats. Because he seemed to have a thing for the horned creatures and, as adorable as they were, Cloud really did not give a shit about the care required to raise one.

Both situations were terrifying enough that Cloud made an honest attempt at burying himself behind all of Zack's clothes. And he succeeded quite well—only he face was visible. So, feeling much safer, he settled back against the wall and closed his eyes, prepared to take a nap until he could come out of hiding.

Fate had another idea.

Cloud was startled out of his nap-ready state when the closet door was flung open and a body stumbled on top of him.

"_Ow_!" he hissed, shoving the intruder away from him. "What the fuck—"

The newcomer clapped a hand over his mouth and scrambled to pull the door shut. The man dragged Cloud across the small amount of floor space and shushed him, holding him against his chest and hissing at him to stop struggling. The cadet was just about to bite the palm of hand against his mouth when he heard the office door open. He froze.

_Please don't be Alexander, please don't be—_

"C'mon! It's just Seph. It's not like he bites." There was a brief pause, followed by a snicker. "Okay, he _does_—but not in public!" Another pause, then Zack sighed. A few moments later, the office door swung shut again.

Cloud was drooling. Unintentionally, of course—but he couldn't help it; when he couldn't breathe properly, he drooled. He was a complete wreck when he had a cold.

"That's fucking disgusting." his fellow closet occupant groaned, letting go of the cadet and wiping the spit on Cloud's arm. "Drool on me again and I'll kick your face in." He shifted, then shoved Cloud against the wall. "Move _over_."

Cloud, of course, shoved him back. "I was here first. Fuck off."

"I don't give a shit if you were _born_ first. You're sitting on my leg." the man growled angrily, shoving him harder. "Get the hell off!"

"Fuck yourself." the blonde muttered under his breath, climbing off of the stranger's leg and sitting as close to the wall as he possibly could. "_Happy_?"

"No. Who the fuck was this closet designed for? Santa's elves?"

Cloud snorted, then started laughing. An elbow jabbed into his ribs and he yelped, then slammed his own elbow into the wall. "What the fuck was that for?"

"If Zack finds us, it's _your_ fault."

The blonde rolled his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. "Why the hell are _you_ hiding?"

His companion made an unimpressed noise, then muttered an "ouch" when his knee slammed into Cloud's. "Have you seen this place? He put that mistletoe bullshit _everywhere_." A finger jabbed uncomfortably close to the cadet's right eye, poking his cheek instead. "What about _you_?"

"Alexander." Cloud deadpanned, moving his head away from the hand. "What's the matter—afraid of mistletoe?" he teased, smirking in the dark.

"Like hell." the man scoffed. "Zack has this insane idea that I want to kiss Sephiroth. I'd rather kiss a chocobo's ass end."

Their knees slammed into each other again, and—with an irritated growl—the newcomer reached up and tugged on the chain connected to the light.

For a brief moment, Cloud was blinded by the light.

And then he slammed himself back into the closet wall so hard, he was seeing stars.

"S-Sir—" he spluttered, eyes wide. Because sitting right next to him was Genesis Rhapsodos in a sweater covered in Santa hat-wearing chocobos. And oh _gods_, Cloud had told a commanding officer to fuck off. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know—"

"Oh, can it." Genesis cut him off, rolling his aquamarine eyes and shoving a mound of clothes away from him. "Fuck's sake, can't even hide out in a closet without someone calling me sir. Sir this, sir that, sir you're so fucking amazing." he grumbled to himself, leaning back and crossing his arms.

They fell back into an uncomfortable silence. Genesis fished around his pants pocket and tugged out what was most likely a copy of Loveless. He flipped it open, and sank into the corner, determined to completely ignore Cloud. His reddish-brown hair gracefully framed his features, and up close, Cloud had to admit he was rather good looking.

He also looked positively miserable.

Cloud sighed and tilted his head back.

And gawked.

"Uh, sir?"

"What?" Genesis hissed, not looking up from his book. "_What_ in the goddess's name could you possibly want? Can I at least read, or is that too much to fucking ask?"

"There's, uh." Cloud shrugged his shoulders and pointed up. "Zack put mistletoe in the closet."

"Zack put—" the Commander's mouth turned down in a frown and he slowly looked up. "What the hell did he think people would be doing in the _closet_?"

"Exactly what we're doing?" Cloud ventured, rubbing the back of his neck and cocking an eyebrow.

Genesis snorted, shaking his head. Abruptly, he leaned forward, grabbed the front of Cloud's shirt, and pulled him into a kiss. Just as quickly, he pushed away and resettled into the corner. "What's your name?"

"Cloud Strife." the blonde answered, still leaning forward with his jaw dangling. "Sir." he added as an afterthought.

"Genesis." the redhead corrected, returning to his book. "Much better than a chocobo's ass, Strife. Much better."

And Cloud, blushing furiously, slowly sat back, still gawking at his Commander. Genesis moved slightly closer. And Cloud shifted closer to the wall. But apparently the redhead was having none of that, because he grabbed the cadet's arm and dragged him the short distance to his lap.

They sat there. Cloud staring at his commanding officer, and Genesis simply staring back.

"Would you like to go to my place?" Genesis asked, tilting his head slightly. When Cloud worked his mouth wordlessly, he closed his eyes and shook his head. "For hot chocolate."

Cloud snapped his mouth shut and nodded stiffly. "S-Sure."

Genesis offered a small smile, and just like that, he climbed to his feet, and hauled Cloud out of the closet. He dragged the cadet down the hall and into the living room, pausing briefly to smack Zack upside the head. The raven-haired SOLDIER yelped, jumped straight forward into Angeal's chest, then whirled around with a confused look on his face.

"What was that for?" he whined, rubbing the back of his head.

"I'm leaving." Genesis snapped. He snatched up Cloud's hand, and lifted their entwined fingers. "_We're_ leaving." He nodded at Angeal. "Have a nice holiday." Then he nodded at Sephiroth—who was awkwardly standing behind the both of them, as usual. He turned back to Zack, and smiled. "Fuck you, Zackary. I hope your Christmas sucks."

"Hate you, too." Zack muttered, sticking his tongue out. He watched the two of them head out the door, then turned back to Angeal and threw his hands in the air. "Ha! You owe me 500 gil."

"What?" Angeal asked incredulously, cocking an eyebrow.

"_You_ said they'd never get together. And they _did_." He stuck his tongue out and held up one hand. "500 gil."

Angeal rolled his eyes and tugged the money out of his pocket, slapping it into Zack's hand before kissing his forehead. Then he snorted to himself and shook his head. What a weird couple.

* * *

><p>Merry Christmas everyone~<p>

I was going to write separate stories for underhandlilies and ShadesofImagination, but I didn't have the time, energy, or motivation. So I'm sorry.

My writing has gone downhill quite a bit since I wrote regularly. That's unfortunate. lol

Thanks for reading. Hope you all have an awesome holiday season.


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